#was vagued by the person i vagued so i don't want to incite anything more bc i truly do like and respect them

[theloveinc]

tags are actually not a bad take i agree 100% with it and it’s nice to know i’m not the only one who’s been thinking it :’) i too have lots of hot take about the xreader community esp from the reader pov but i’m trying to choose peace lol

(don’t have to respond to this necessarily, just wanted to let ya know you’re not alone!!!)

❤️❤️❤️❤️

[vampcubus]

Hi, I really like your writing (especially your Rengoku headcanons.) Also, your page looks so aesthetically pleasing, I think it's really cool.

Can I request some headcanons for Tokoyami with a s/o who's love language is biting? (It can be fluff or smut or both, it's your choice)

If you don't want to write this, that's okay too, have a nice day!

sure can! and thank you sm for the compliments, got me blushin’ n shit 😳 i also decided to tack on more characters for this prompt!

𝐁𝐍𝐇𝐀 𝐁𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐇𝐂𝐒

:ఌ¨ ♱ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒 : fumikage, izuku, katsuki, and eijirou.

:ఌ¨ ♱ 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 : vaguely nsfw, projecting my biting kink onto all these men tbh.

𝐅𝐔𝐌𝐈𝐊𝐀𝐆𝐄 𝐓𝐎𝐊𝐎𝐘𝐀𝐌𝐈

— Fumikage’s probably the most startled by your love bites for sure. He’s still getting used to your kisses, so you can bet he’s jumping a mile into the air when he feels you sneak a nip to his shoulder. He’s so flustered, beak tipped down to his chest in embarrassment. What was that for? Were you teasing him? An intrusive thought perhaps?

— When you explain it to him, it endears him to you even more. You were biting him because it’s how you expressed your love? He wished he’d known sooner.

— He definitely writes romanticized poetry about how your teeth feel on his skin. 

— Knaw on him all you like, he’s yours to chew on as you see fit — so long as you promise to kiss the bites you leave afterward.

— Poor guy gets teased endlessly for the bite marks he’s got all over, somehow them being inherently non-sexual makes it worse. He feels dirty when his friends make unsavory jokes about them, but it’s not like he’s going to tell you that you can’t sink your teeth in just because he’s embarrassed.

— He notices that you tend to do it even more when you’re excited about something, nicks of your teeth interspersed with your enthusiastic smooching. 

— He should have expected your habit to emerge in the bedroom, yet it still incites a shaky gasp when you sink your teeth into his neck and shoulder as you take him inside you. 

— Don’t tell anyone but he likes the pain, particularly when it mixes with the pleasure of you claiming him.

— He traces your bite marks when he’s thinking of you <3

𝐈𝐙𝐔𝐊𝐔 𝐌𝐈𝐃𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐘𝐀

— There’s nothing cuter than the pitched gasp he makes when your teeth nip at his ear for the first time. At first, he thinks you just wanted to mess with him so he pouts, rubbing at the red mark you left behind. 

“That hurt you know…” he huffs, bottom lip sticking out.

— That is until he realizes that you’re doing it mindlessly like you weren’t giving it a second thought. 

— When your lips press a kiss to his shoulder in passing, he’s conditioned to tense up in case you decide to take a bite out of him on a whim.

— It’s not an unpleasant feeling, but he has a habit of being vocal about his approval. The last thing he wants is for you to sneak a bite when he isn’t expecting it and he moans out loud when other people are around.

— in short, he likes it. a lot.

— He’s your personal chew toy as far as he’s concerned. Still, his curiosity compels him to ask you about it.

“So I’ve noticed that you uh… bite me a lot? Is that like… a conscious thing or…?” he inquires one day, and the way your face practically bursts into flames should be enough of an answer on its own.

“Gosh I’m so sorry if that’s weird—“ you blubber, fanning your burning cheeks as he watches in fascination. You’re so cute when you get flustered like that, he muses.

“No, I like it!” He states a little too loudly and then rushes to amend his enthusiasm, stumbling over his words as his own furious blush flares up. He was outing himself. “N-not in a weird way or anything. I just think it’s cute!” 

— And when he makes the connection of you biting him = loving him, he’s over the moon about it.

— Has a thing for being marked as yours, so your habit goes hand in hand with that desire. 

— Sink your teeth in until his skin dots with blood, he doesn’t care, cus no amount of pain could take away from the dizzying pleasure he feels at that moment.

— Encourages you to bite him harder <333 he's no weakling, you know you can be rougher with him, don't you?

𝐊𝐀𝐓𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐈 𝐁𝐀𝐊𝐔𝐆𝐎𝐔

— As expected, he is less than understanding about it the first time you leap into his back and chomp his shoulder.

 “HUH?! THE HELL DID YOU BITE ME FOR?!”

— Calls you a freak 😔 honestly he can be so mean </3 

— However, this can be amended by confessing that your compulsion to bite him was a sign of love. Watch his cheeks get all red, hand covering his face as he leans away from your scrutinizing gaze — because you’ve flustered him. 

“Yeah, okay I get it! you do it cus you like me or whatever but it hurts you know. Can’t just do it out of nowhere…” he grumbles, avoiding your sparkling eyes. Because that sounded like a stamp of approval to you.

— He’ll fuss most times you do it, but only before guiding your teeth to the place he wants them. Cus if you’re gonna bite him you might as well go for the throat where he likes it.

— Can’t help that his cock throbs whenever your breath grazes his jugular, anticipating the sting of your teeth pulling the tender skin between them.

— Going in for an affectionate chomp in other places just gets you an annoyed hand shoving your face away — especially if you’re around other people. It’s almost pitiful how your face drops when he does as if he’s the bad guy. What a joke!

“C’mon, don’t give me that look. You can chew on me later.”

— He’s all too aware that you do it to distract him, so he won’t always tolerate it if he’s genuinely busy. 

“I know you’re just tryna distract me. You aren’t slick, you little shit.” he’ll hiss, though the truth is he just doesn’t wanna work with a boner.

— If you bite someone else he is IMMENSELY jealous. Those teeth are only for him dammit. And that realization just makes him even more embarrassed, because fuck you’ve infected him with your weirdness. He wasn’t supposed to like it too!

— He bites back in retaliation so watch out!

𝐄𝐈𝐉𝐈𝐑𝐎𝐔 𝐊𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐌𝐀

— He’s a tough guy, and obsessed with you, so chances are he’s not going to bat an eye if you wanna take a lil chomp every now and then. In his mind, you must think he looks tasty enough to eat, and he’ll take that as a compliment thank-you!

— That said, he does notice, and that you only do it to him specifically. His heart squeezes at that. I’m special. I’m special to them. Playing in his head in an endless loop as he stares at you with that lovesick puppy look.

— Eijirou wants to reciprocate but with teeth like his, he’d be too nervous about breaking the skin. That longing being there means something.

— He knows to pay attention to you when you nip him, lest he’d like to see how much harder you can bite. And he really didn’t wanna have to explain to Katsuki why he’s got an angry red bite mark at the base of his neck. (Truthfully Katsuki would notice but not say anything about it, equating it to his best friend getting mad pussy, which he is already plenty jealous of.)

— In a perfect world Eijirou would sit with you in his lap while you sucked dark marks into the flesh of his throat all day long.

— The more chomps you take out of him the more he desires to return the favor, imagining what your reaction would be. Would you like it? Would you let him do it again? Do you even realize you do it? Those questions bubble anxiously inside until he musters up the courage to ask.

“Hey uh, would it be totally weird if I bit you?” he slides it so casually into the conversation you almost miss it. But he can tell he’s piqued your curiosity when your eyes dart from the tv to his own, side-eying him but not fully acknowledging the question. “Like… how you love nip me sometimes — which is very cute by the way — I wanna do the same to you.”

“I don’t ask before biting you, why should you? Just bite me next time, K? It would be totally hot but you’ve ruined the element of surprise, you see?” You return to your dead-eyed stare at the tv, munching away at your snack as if nothing happened.

He stares dumbly at you for a moment before he processes that as both acceptance and a challenge.

“Right!” 

[codenamesazanka]

What more did you want from the Todoroki family plot?

In a word, anger.

this is hard to put into words, but—it's so frustrating reading this.

We've heard Enji say this before - I'm sorry, I intend to atone. It's indeed the right thing to say, it's exactly what he should be saying and acting. Natsuo is declaring no contact - That's fine, I'm sorry, I accept this as part of my atonement and will continue. Touya calls him a coward - That's fine, I'm sorry, I accept this as part of my atonement and will continue. The public hates him - That's fine, I'm sorry, I accept this as part of my atonement and will continue.

But you can only hear this so many times before you want to snap and beat the character, the story, the writing over the head with Enji's wheelchair. Why is that? He's behaving exactly as he should, and yet...

Part of me wants Enji to break down again, to cry, to feel some catharsis at seeing that, but that risks making it all about him (but the chapter already does, anyway). I don't think it's that I want Enji to snap at Natsuo or whatever so that I can take pleasure in knowing he's still a shithead (because it's good that he's (technically) improving as a person, that he's respecting boundaries!).

It just feels like it's too late. It's not enough. It will never be enough. His apologies don't matter anymore, because Touya's dying anyway. His atonement is supposedly toward helping the rest of the family, but as @class1akids points out, Fuyumi found a job without his help, while Rei seems to be his caretaker. Natsuo's leaving. Shouto will spend most of his time at UA. Enji's continued atonement does nothing to help Touya, who's dying anyway.

Enji is still saying all the right things, but the story isn't giving him the opportunity to actually do the right things. To have his new actions matter. I have no doubt about his sincerity in his mantra, but without the 'show', it's hollow.

Similarly, "Let's talk" is actually kinda bullshit too, because it's so vague. This is less about Enji, and more about the writing, how it set up this scene. "Let's talk" or "I want to talk" or any of that variation is repeated 6 times, without anything more or specific added.

It's a placeholder for anything real, anything that will incite more emotions. Let's talk - about the past, about your (justified!) hatred. Let's talk about your League, the teammates you spent all those months with. Let's talk, about Fuyumi's new job, about Natsuo's girlfriend.

But I feel the story couldn't give us that because it will remind the reader and everyone just how much Touya will be missing. In-story, talking any more will overburden Touya's heart - and how apt is that metaphor? So let's talk about how we'll talk, but that's all that's allowed here for this scene. Else we'll see how unfair it is that Touya has to be confined to this room, he isn't with his family and they have to come to this prison just to tell him about their day, and soon he will be gone.

Details make it real, and it would've exposed the lie that Touya was saved in an actual way. The story knows it too - "this extra time Shouto gave us." This is all 'extra', and not the core.

And so Shouto's line was the only thing of substance, a real concrete thing instead of an abstract 'let's talk!'. 'Let's talk' is only the start of making a connection; 'What's your favorite food' is truly hit-the-ground-running making a connection. Of course it's the thing that affects Touya most.

If the story was sincere that this is a case of "it's simply too late" - as it should be!!! imo, to really drive in the clear point that they failed, they did not get the save they wanted, because that's the truth - the tone of the chapter isn't tragic enough for that. The tone is going for 'Making Peace With This'. We've skipped the stages of grief and all we have is acceptance. The characters have accepted this, and so must the readers as well.

[pocketramblr]

AU where Hisashi calls Izuku regularly while he works overseas and one day Hisashi tells Izuku about his new boyfriend who is very sweet to him and unfortunately got into a bad accident many years ago that left him disabled so Hisashi helps care for him.Izuku later finds out this boyfriend is AFO.

why would you leave inko for afo. 'hold on yeah i think i'll leave this priceless bahia emerald and skip town and then i found a broken piece of chalk instead.' my guy. you deserve all might stealing your son.

1- ok so. Hisashi is an accountant who moves to new york to make more money. He and inko officially divorce, which means Izuku takes the Midoriya name and Inko has sole custody, but while Hisashi does not have to pay child support or alimony, he does opt to send them some support and tries to stay in contact because i guess his taste in men was so bad that he and inko just work better as friends. good for them ig.

2- actually Hisashi is just straight up color-blind: he can't see any red flags. Its not just his personal tastes. this man has worked for four separate blatant money laundering schemes since he went abroad. he has no clue. this is how he ends up coming into contact with AfO, but AfO's job offering is too indirect and vague, and Hisashi is like 'are you... flirting with me?' instead, but AfO can work with that. And while Hisashi certainly isn't a genius with people or warning signs, i will give him (and inko) this: he's a great lay.

3- He's also a very caring boyfriend, which was part of the problem with inko, they ended up really inciting each other's anxieties, but AfO likes being pampered so he decides to keep Hisashi around even if he isn't a employee. even better really, that he doesn't have to pay, bribe, quirkify, dequirkify, or threaten him. Hisashi, as a bit of a doting boyfriend, also has a lot to say about the man to others, so Izuku ends up hearing a lot of gushing over the phone as he's training with weights and is a bit too out of breath to change the topic. plus, he doesn't want to bring up going to UA until its a sure thing, his dad will definitely freak out about it not being safe. finally he tells his dad he got in, and hisashi is like 'oh yeah, cuz they changed the rules, which track?' and izuku goes 'oh uh hero track and alsoihaveaquirknowitscalledsuperpower oh look at that moms calling me for dinner sorry bye.'

4. Dazed, Hisashi gushes about his son to his boyfriend later, dropping that izuku's going to become a hero at ua, what a surprise- but, well, he supposes his son has always loved to watch heroes...

AfO is like 'hm. being a hero isn't very safe...' ('i know...') 'why don't you try to push him to visit you? keep him safe. maybe in a safe. don't you just wanna keep a hold of him?' ("i do, but that'll only drive him away. he's growing up... besides, if i was busy only keeping watch over him, who'd take care of you?") 'mm, good point. keep prioritizing me, i will neither put a hit on the kid as competition nor do anything to keep him safer.'

5. Reveal... uh yeah so Hisashi does mention to Izuku when his boyfriend goes missing, sometimes he gets called to work suddenly but he's never been gone this long, he's worried, is he restocking his meds, where is he? oh yeah, he vanished around Kamino. unfortunate, but not incriminating on its own. What IS incriminating is rewound!AfO, looking at Izuku with a tilted head. "I can see bits of Hisashi in you, hm. Just the worst bits, luckily." Izuku starts realizing what this means. Bakugo distracts him and blasts him to the Shigaraki fight, because he also started to realize what it meant and simply did not want to deal with hearing anymore of that. Over at the ShigarAfO fight, AfO tries to keep throwing Izuku (and tomura) off their game by wondering if Hisashi will find this new, younger body nice as well- probably, its not like the man had the highest standards. Izuku and Tomura are united in such abosolute done-ness with AfO that he's immediately snuffed out of Tomura's head and nothing remains behind. Tomura is like 'uh, do you want a day's break and then a rematch because i need to bleach my brain' but izuku is like 'oh no i need to punch someone through a mountain rn, lets keep going while i reform you with the power of friendship and incredible violence.' (By unspoken agreement, neither Izuku, Bakugo, or Tomura ever breathe a word about it to anyone, much less to Hisashi.)

[lexsang]

Hi! I was reading your opinion if father Sebastiaan and Sabretooth and you mentioned finally seeing sanguinarianism as a blessing. As someone who struggles a lot with seeing if as anything but a handicap and feeling frustrated, I'd love to hear more about how you managed to see the positive in all this.

This is a fantastic question. I'll try to cover it as completely as I can, but I do want to stress that my experience, like all of ours, is unique. Just a warning before I jump in, I am talking about my awakening in a decent bit of detail, so please ensure you are in a good place before reading. It might not be a bad Idea to have your favourite blood substitute on hand before giving this all a read.

I may have told a vague story of my awakening a number of times, but I think it's pretty relevant to this topic, so I'll start with that. Surprisingly, I don't think I have actually heard many in-depth awakening stories from other vamps, so I don't know if many of the details of mine are different from the norm. I do know that the general feeling of absolute isolation is fairly common though. When I first awakened, it was like a dam burst. Suddenly, and without any inciting moment, I had a vague interest in blood, and the curiosity in drinking it. But it only remained a small thought for a couple of days, and quickly exploded into full body cravings that left my mind unable to think about anything else. It was violent, disruptive, and absolutely life altering. I, unlike some lucky members of the community, had no previous knowledge of the vampire community, or that anyone else could possibly be have the kinds of experiences I was thrust into having.

I assume that having that knowledge would have changed the course of my awakening, but if I'm being honest with myself, I don't know that it would have changed a thing. Suddenly, I was an isolated individual, unlike anyone else, constantly wading through seas of people (I was in school, and then university at the time), and overwhelmed by vivid, violent thoughts. Like I mentioned, I like to think that having the knowledge that all I needed was to feed on a little bit of blood would have changed the depth of my awakening. However, my body, sending every signal it could in the effort to convince me to feed, pushed further and further, until the cravings pushed past just blood, and into meat as well. I mention all of this to help convey that I was wholly consumed by my cravings. For every second of every day for two or three years, this was my internal experience. What I have failed to mention, however, is how I felt about that experience.

I didn't push away from it or create tension between myself and those feelings and impulses. Of course I did maintain control (albeit somewhat loose control sometimes), but rather than being fearful of myself, I quickly accepted it as a part of myself. I have to be direct. I loved the feeling that the cravings sustained in my body. And that is the main thing that I think makes my experience so different from the experiences of many other sanguinarian vampires. I enjoyed the experience of vampirism from the beginning, I just closed my eyes and fell backwards into the sensations and the experience, with a smile on my face.

That being said, it did complicate parts of my life. I was in a pretty negative relationship throughout much of my awakening, and she, being the only person I had told about my cravings, was kind enough to fairly consistently remind me that she saw me as a monster, despite the fact that I was clear that these experiences were happening at me, and not from me (suffice to say, don't keep people in your life who are incapable of accepting you). It was also difficult to manage family at the time. Because of that relationship, I started going through some rough times, and the addition of unsated cravings complicated my ability to ask for help. My family became very worried about me, but there was only so much I could say. So I certainly won't say that vampirism is a completely enjoyable experience without it's difficulties, not to mention the very real pain that can come from cravings.

I do think there is a decent amount to be learned from my experience. That the experience of vampirism, though I harp on the fact that vampirism expresses itself uniquely in every individual, varies most extremely based on the perspective of the person experiencing it. And luckily, perspectives can be changed! You, at present, view your vampiric experience from the perspective that it is a handicap, but I can't imagine that that one perspective has been the entirety of the experience. The way I see it, my vampirism allows me to look at life as if I'm looking through a stained glass window, one that no one else will ever get the chance to see. Yes, there may be other vampires (which is also a good thing, we get to connect with others over something that makes us all unique and alike), but no one else will ever experience it in the same way you do.

I think it's also very important to take time with the cravings. By pushing against them, many vampires add tension to their experiences, and make it harder to deal with. Use substitutes if you need to, or feed if you have the opportunity to, and disconnect from the experiences of others. Just sit in your own body and let the cravings be there with you almost like meditating with your vampirism. When you are present with them like this, without judgement, how does it really feel to sit in that vampiric experience? When there isn't something pressing that the cravings are distracting you from, how does that experience manifest?

And of course, feeding is probably the big one. Yes, we gradually get to a point where we don't feel healthy. The level and timeframe of that varies from vamp to vamp, but it is a fact that that aspect of vampirism is a handicap. But through that difficulty, we get to experience feeding, something that 99.999% of people will never be able to understand. People say that you can't truly experience the good in life if you haven't experienced the bad. I won't necessarily agree or disagree with that, but I will say that that is a great way to relate to the experience of feeding. The instant dissolution of whatever doubts that might have been swimming around in my mind, along with the sudden removal of negative symptoms is a blessing. And in my experience, that is just where feeding starts. It obviously shouldn't be seen as a drug to be used for regular recreation, but the feeling of feeding, if you see it as more than just filling a need, like taking a prescription, is really something else.

This has definitely been much longer than I had originally intended, and I'm too lazy to look back through it to see if I messed up any spelling or anything, and I solemnly apologize for the number of times I used the word 'experience'... but I couldn't think of any other word, and it's too late to crack open the thesaurus. I hope this helped, and if you have any more questions or are looking for any clarification, please feel free to ask. I'm more than happy to help where I can :)

[anotherquirkhelpblog]

Do you have any semi-powerful villain quirks, maybe connected to blood.

first i want to say thank you so so so much for my first ask on this blog i got a little too excited about having an ask in my inbox for once

i don't currently have any like posted or anything but i will go ahead and do a little brainstorm real quick and give you a few diff answers on the blood question, but i will also try to include some of the more powerful quirks i have that aren't blood related at the end

quirks under the cut so i don't clog ppl's dashboards

Boil: A contact-based Emitter quirk that allows the user to cause any liquid to boil almost instantly. Works on anything from water all the way to blood. this one might not be exactly what you're looking for but could definitely be an interesting concept.

Bloodlust: A Transformation quirk that forces the user to turn into a beast-like form when in they smell blood. purposely leaving this one a little on the vague side so you can decide what you wanna do with the beast design. vampire? wolf-like? You decide!

Dehydrate: A contact-based Emitter quirk that allows the user to remove all moisture and liquid from anything they touch. again not directly related to blood, but could definitely work for some pretty gruesome scenes. though I worry this might be a little too close to Decay.

Blood Blade: An Emitter quirk that allows the user to create various weapons from their own blood. This quirk does not allow the user to control the weapons telekinetically. i will admit this one was inspired by the Demon Blood Arts from KNY.

Blood Binding: An Emitter quirk that allows the user complete control over another person after ingesting their blood. basically if Brainwashing and Transform had a baby.

Toxic Blood: A Mutant(?) quirk that gives the user an extremely potent airborne toxin in their blood. inspired by the real-life case of the "Toxic Woman" Gloria Ramirez.

Voodoo Doll: Grants the user the ability to cause physical harm to others by harming themselves. The user must have a part of their victim, such as blood or hair. i've posted this before but this one is blood related and also happens to be one of my favorite quirks i have used for my own oc

the next few are ones i have posted before too that i think might also work for a villain

Uproar: Allows the user to incite violence in those who hear their singing. a bit similar to Trumpet's quirk

Conjuring: Grants the user the ability to influence their surroundings just by speaking. this one is generally a powerful quirk. it was inspired by Toge from JJK, and i use it for a student oc who has little control over this power, but i could see it working super well for a villain

Pathogen: Gives the user a natural airborne pathogen in their breath that makes people around them immediately sick. Symptoms of this pathogen include, nauseous, vomiting, cough, and runny nose. Even after the effects of the pathogen wear off, people may feel congested or slightly nauseous. i think that a strong version of this quirk would be awesome for a villain. like Conjuring, i used this quirk for a student

AND LAST BUT DEFINITELY NOT LEAST, FROM ONE OF THE MAIN ANTAGONISTS IN MY RP

Quirk Eating: An Emitter quirk that allows the user to steal Quirks using the blood or body parts of other people. The amount of another person that the user consumes directly correlated to how long they could use the Quirk of that person. Eating the entirety of a person before the user was able to fully digest all of their matter would result in the user being able to user their quirk permanently. This quirk does not grant any anatomy to aide in hunting. this is the quirk of the father of my antagonist, but it is worth mentioning for context. i wanted someone who would be able to rival AFO even as a fellow villain. the character with the quirk that "rivals" AFO is a marriage between this and...

Hunter: A mutant quirk that gives the user multiple abilities that are able to aide in hunting, such has heightened senses, large ears, and pointed teeth. The user's large, pointed ears help in their ability to hear and their teeth help for eating things they're hunted, but their enhanced sense of smell and sight seem to have no physical effect on their appearance. the quirk of the mother of my main antagonist, also part of the marriage that created his quirk

Apex Predator: Gives the user cannibalistic tendencies in which they can gain the quirks of others. The more of a person that the user ingests, the stronger the victim's quirk is for them. Users of this quirk are also able to smell blood and are natural hunters. The user may have strong reactions to the sight and smell of blood, causing them to have an insatiable bloodlust. like i said, i wanted someone who would be able to rival AFO as far as power even if he is a fellow villain, so thus this was born. he actually had a more complex quirk before i nerfed him because he was a little too insane before

thank you so much for the ask and i hope at least one of these was helpful!

[apocalypticavolition]

Let's (re)Read The Great Hunt! Chapter 34: The Wheel Weaves

What's in the box? Some people already know and some people don't. As a general rule, if you're in the "don't" category and you hate spoilers, you shouldn't keep reading. If you only know cause you're reading The Great Hunt or you've seen season 2 of the show but you don't want spoilers past that point, you also shouldn't keep reading. I spoil everything.

This chapter begins with the Wheel icon because big things are happening, like assassinations and discovery of the Horn.

He had meant the choices to be a private comment on their stupidity, never dreaming any of them might listen, much less be intrigued. Intrigued in a way. They had demanded more of the same, but they had laughed in the wrong places, at the wrong things. They had laughed at him, too, apparently thinking he would not notice, or else that a full purse stuffed in his pocket would heal any wounds.

Another sign of how divorced the nobility in this country is from the commonfolk and by extension reality. They have two very different storytelling cultures and little overlap on anything. And yet Thom's bitterness about this has a hint of hypocrisy - he complains they thought he wouldn't notice their mockery even as he had thought they wouldn't notice his.

He was still not sure what he had intended to say. Rand was gone with his friends, and the Aes Sedai. It left a feeling of something not done.

The important thing is that you tried, and of course that now you can be extra angry at yourself for what happened because you delayed.

She rolled limply onto her back, staring up at him, glazed eyes open wide above the gash across her throat. The side of the bed that had been hidden by her body was dark and sodden.

I mean, what is there to say? Girl had great potential as a person and as a character and all that matters, to the point where she certainly stops getting mentioned after only a book or two, is that she spurs Thom to act now.

“The Game? I’m not mixed up in Daes Dae’mar! Who would want to kill me for the Great Game?”

Thom's protestations ring even more hollow. Where Rand's naivety is excusable, Thom's speaks only to how out of practice he is. Dude met with someone everyone thought was a lord, is performing for other lords, and thinks he's out of the Game? He basically chose to keep playing.

And there has been a woman, a lady, I have seen more than once while asking after him.

Lanfear meanwhile is so contemptuous of the Third Agers that she doesn't even care to disguise herself properly among them, I guess. I'm surprised she doesn't just spy herself though.

“If you mean Barthanes, you’re too late. Everybody’s talking about it already. He is dead. His servants found him this morning, torn to pieces in his bedchamber. The only way they knew it was him was his head stuck on a spike over the fireplace.”

Forget who killed Asmodean, who the heck killed Barthanes? It probably wasn't Galldrian; killing a random is one thing but having his rival brutally eviscerated is another. It couldn't have been Fain, he was already gone. Ishamael or Lanfear might have done it by way of the gholam, but what would piss either of them off enough? The Horn going to Toman Head is hardly Barthanes' mistake and doesn't really interfere with Lanfear's desired outcomes at all. Plus if they did use the gholam, what did it get up to all this time between now and its first appearance?

“These aren’t Barthanes’s men, Thom. At least, that one isn’t.” She nodded toward the fat man. “It’s the worst kept secret in Cairhien that he works for House Riatin. For Galldrian.”

This vaguely points at Galldrian being responsible for Barthanes' death as well I suppose, but like I said the method seems entirely out of character.

“Perhaps you had better think about leaving, too. It looks as if someone is firing the granaries.”

I'm also going to rule out the rioters as an unlikely suspect on the grounds that Barthanes' death is probably the inciting incident for them, not the first, implausbly well-hidden step. But seriously. Who did it?

*considers Verin for a moment*

Nah. She's the least suspicious person alive.

The pack horse bearing his precious burden bumped his leg, and he kicked it in the ribs without looking; the animal snorted and jerked back to the end of the lead he had tied to his saddle.

So obviously the part that immediately follows this about how Fain fed the horse's previous owner to the Trollocs is way, way eviler, but let's just appreciate exactly how dedicated to unpleasantness Fain has become.

Men gathered more information on the invaders, as if they actually believed they would eventually do something with what they knew, but they sometimes tried to hold back. Women, by and large, seemed interested in going on with their lives whoever their rulers were, yet they noted details men did not, and they talked more quickly once they stopped screaming.

I kind of don't buy this? Random women from every village are being taken away and never seen again. I'm not a woman myself but I don't think it's a stretch to say that such actions would put most women on edge for fear of the Seanchan coming back and taking more tribute, since they don't know about the damane selection process yet.

The people hurried about their business with eyes down, bowing whenever soldiers passed, but the Seanchan paid them no mind. It all seemed peaceful on the surface, despite the armored Seanchan in the streets and the ships in the harbor, but Fain could sense the tension underneath. He always did well where men were tense and afraid.

1) I'm very sad that this element of the occupation disappears in later books it rings a lot truer; everyone should be afraid.

2) Is Fain saying thinking this in the sense of looking back over his career as a Darkfriend and how he always did better scaring them with peddler's tales, or is this the sum total of his evil reflecting on Aridhol, the Ways, and more? Both?

Women went in and out of a house across the street, women linked by silver leashes, but he ignored them. He knew about damane from the villagers. They might be of some use later, but not now.

Seriously: what use can Fain be imagining for damane, considering his current power set?

He was always confident, but never more than where lords feared an assassin’s knife from their own followers.

This is definitely more all of the evil within Fain than his own experiences, as we have no reason to think he was ever an assassin in his backstory.

“I have seen chests such as this, chests from the Age of Legends,” the High Lord said, “though none so fine. They are meant to be opened only by those who know the pattern, but I—ah!”

Major points to Turak who easily sidesteps Fain's plans entirely by accident. As much as I loathe the Seanchan, I despise Fain more.

Still holding the Horn and the dagger, Turak looked at the cabinet, then away. He said nothing, but the other Seanchan snapped quick orders, and in moments men in plain woolen robes appeared through a door behind the screens bearing another small table.

For all the shit I've given the Cairhienien nobility, I suppose I also need to offer them some credit for at least not expecting their servants to interpret their every facial gesture. Rich people on every continent desperately need to get over themselves.

Fain could stand it no longer. He reached for the dagger.

Fain isn't anywhere near as slick as he thinks he is, considering he went about thirty seconds without trying to nab his precious. Fucking Gollum does better about this stuff bro, learn from him.

“I am to sound it.” Turak’s tone was flat. “And break the White Tower. Again, why? You claim to obey, await, and serve, but this is a land of oath-breakers. Why do you give your land to me? Do you have some private quarrel with these . . . women?”

And again, we see that Fain's schemes immediately crash and burn when given the briefest exposure to people who know what schemes are. He's just like all these nobles in his own twisted way: he's gotten so used to having the Darkfriends jump when he says jump (or die) that he doesn't understand why no one else will willingly be his puppets.

Turak was silent so long that Fain began to wonder if he needed further convincing; he was ready with more, as much as was required.

Pro-tip for those of you who find themselves in situations where you need to lie: less is actually much better than more. We can thus conclude that Fain isn't even good at lying, despite the fact that he's spent his whole career as a liar!

“But, High Lord,” Fain protested, “you must—” He found himself lying on his side, his head ringing. Only when his eyes cleared did he see the man with the pale braid rubbing his knuckles and realize what had happened. “Some words,” the fellow said softly, “are never used to the High Lord.” Fain decided how the man was going to die.

I myself am rooting for neither of these fellows, both so awful in their own right. And note again how the Seanchan veneer of civility disappears at a moment's notice without warning. There's no way a populace can happily adopt the Seanchan customs as a whole, not without rebellion after rebellion breaking out.

He had not even known of the existence of an Empress until Turak mentioned her, but access to a ruler again . . . that opened new paths, new plans. Access to a ruler with the might of the Seanchan beneath her and the Horn of Valere in her hands. Much better than making this Turak a Great King.

It's funny that he thinks this is an option for him, when his best case scenario is that he ends up doing exactly what Semirhage will do and thus completely destroys his advantage and his worst case scenario is that Semirhage shows up and starts experimenting with an absolutely fascinating case study.

If I kept the Horn of Valere, all between myself and the throne would think I meant to be first hereafter, and while the Empress, of course, wishes that we contend with one another so that the strongest and most cunning will follow her, she currently favors her second daughter, and she would not look well on any threat to Tuon.

I'm sure that name won't be relevant later!

“The Empress’s Listeners may be anywhere,” Turak continued. “They may be anyone. Huan was born and raised in the House of Aladon, and his family for eleven generations before him, yet even he could be a Listener.”

Secret police: a surefire sign that your civilization is doing just great for itself and won't collapse under its own bloodlust in fifty years or less.

At the Court of the Nine Moons, in Seandar, one such as you could be given to the Seekers for a shift of your eye, for a misspoken word, for a whim. Are you still eager?

I'm sure that Nine Moons thing won't come up again anytime soon either.

And again we see more evidence that the only reason the Empire is holding itself up is its consistent expansionary policies that consistently deliver it new victims to burn through. If the Empire's borders were ever truly stable it would collapse immediately under the tyranny of Seandar.

A young man, but vile in the Shadow beyond belief, with a lying, devious tongue. In many places he has claimed to be many things, but always the Trollocs come when he is there, High Lord. Always the Trollocs come . . . and kill.

Fain is not even a good Aes Sedai liar, since Caemlyn is still doing just great for itself at the moment, as are a variety of the places he passed on the road to it.

Fain let the grimacing Huan pull him out of the room, hardly even listening to the snarled lecture on what would happen if he ever again failed to leave Lord Turak’s presence when given permission to do so.

Considering that Fain was allegedly giving good information about a coming threat, this seems like another really shitty policy on the part of the Seanchan. The illusion of order that is easily cleared away by chaos.

Sadly, the illusion of time is less easily cleared away and ours is up because the chapter is done. Next time: Steddings!

[bigskydreaming]

What about Magneto and Xavier?

I am existentially opposed to centering Charles Xavier in anything ever even a little bit and accidentally is no excuse either, so.....can't relate.

Still, if I WERE to entertain the thought I would say I don't really think this would be an example of that which I would ever go to personally, because I know X-Men narratives and adaptations tend to kinda...TRY to frame their opposition or conflicting roles as having the kind of basis I'm talking about here, but....eh. Frankly, I don't see them as having anything close to shared origins so much as they're more a case of "so before most of the other characters were born, they decided to be besties based on a vaguely shared principle of wanting what was best for their mutual community, but then they never agreed about anything besides that or ever again, the end."

Like. They have shared MOMENTS of history, even shared HISTORY, certainly, but they come from very different places, have very different inciting elements for their personal character journeys, different traumas, different formative elements, different worldviews, etc....and all of that colors every interaction they've ever had and are the basis of their many disagreements and points of divergence.....not any one single decision to just go in different directions in their reactions/responses to one shared or parallel trauma/startpoint/etc.

But anyway, as I said, I decline to participate too much on any musings involving Charles Xavier on the grounds of I just don't care to, honestly.

...Plus, if anything, I think Charles and Cassandra would be the better example here. Okay, obviously not in any way that's meant to be taken seriously, but like.

"They started out with the shared origin of cohabitating a womb, and their points diverged when he strangled her with his umbilical cord and she spent the next several decades haunting him for it, until she accumulated enough Hater Points to reimburse them for a psychic resurrection feat and upgraded to making his life miserable in real time from then on."

Like. Objectively - and I mean I am of course quite happy to acknowledge my Xavier bias at any point for any reason ever so maybe that word doesn't TECHNICALLY apply here, but kill the cop in your brain telling you that matters, it doesn't, obviously - I'm just saying, objectively that's just a much more amusing case of this particular trope, IMO. Even if its Comic Book Levels of Absurdity most other characters could only dream of ever reaching.

Charles: Enough, Cassandra. This has gone on too long. Let me be the one to end it. I am sorry for what I did to you all those years ago. Genuinely. From the bottom of my heart.

Cassandra: That was literally the one time in our lives I had any respect for you, and now you're going to take that from me too? Bitch.

[whimsicalpoet44]

Hi!!! How r ya? I hope everything is going well over there!!!

I've got a question about synastry, there is this two synastry aspects that I've been trying to search about it more and more but unfortunately there is not many information about it wich are Vertex conjunct south node and vertex conjunct moon. If you can tell me your POV about i would really appreciate it

Thank you so much for your time!

Omg I'm glad someone else brought this up, because I have struggled to find anything out about vertex aspects that aren't vague. I'm sure in-depth interpretations exist, they just aren't readily available.

So I'll tell you what my interpretation is based on what I know about the signs.

(Like I've said in other posts, I'm using the word karmic to mean unresolved issues from past lives, 'you get what you give' energy, etc. I know the spiritual/religious meaning is a little different, so I just wanted to make that distinction. If anyone has a better term, please let me know! I hate how this term has been westernized)

Vertex synastry is often viewed as karmic connections. Especially with the South Node. The South Node can give you insight into your past lives.

To be honest, in my personal experience, South Node and Vertex synastry has been one of the more successful ways that I've found soul contract connections in a synastry chart. Mine and my partner's were actually pretty spot on. When I read my interpretation with the vague description to him he was shocked. (We always said we were a karmic connection before we truly understood what that meant on an astrological level. This was before my spiritual awakening. Which makes it even more bizarre)

Vertex Conjunct South Node in Synastry

This aspect is extremely karmic. Usually, the two people with these aspecting each other have agreed to help the other grow in this life. The connection can feel instant and it can seem like you've known them in a hundred lives before this...probably because you have.

This union will transform both of you for the rest of your lives. It could be a fated encounter to incite a lot of growth.

There could be some unfinished business from a past life, or you simply agreed to be what each of you needs to kick off some realizations to send you towards your life purpose.

(Some believe this conjunction can indicate twin flames. That depends a variety of things and if you even subscribe to that belief, but I felt it was important to point out)

Vertex Conjunct Moon in Synastry

This aspect can indicate deep understanding of one another's emotions. You two might nurture each other deeply on an emotional and intuitive level.

This can also feel like a fated connection (any vertex aspect will).

However, just because something is 'fated,' it doesn't mean it's always healthy. So don't assume this person is your potential soul mate or twin flame without doing further research. Overall though, this person was meant to instigate growth in you in some way.

I hope that makes sense! I know it's vague, but the house and sign can tell you a little bit more.

***No aspect, synastry connection, or zodiac sign is an excuse for abusive behavior in a relationship. I'm just making this a disclaimer because I've seen other questions/comments about this in various places. Yes, you could have signed a soul contract to help one another, but ultimately, we have free will. So, things might not go to plan. They can neglect their own healing and hurt others, and vice versa. Please do not give someone a pass for this. You deserve better***

[griseldabanks]

Shynael (shuh-NIE-ell):

His name has secret significance: I got the name Shynael from a dream. I never remembered anything else about the dream, only that spelling with that pronunciation. I knew I had to save it for something extra-special, and then a few years later I decided to write a dragon rider story, and knew that would be the perfect name for the dragon. All the other dragon names I came up with afterwards were modeled after Shynael.

I am so sorry, my child: I'm so mean to this poor guy T^T The first thing that happens in the plot is him being orphaned as soon as he's hatched, and then he has to immediately turn around and flee for his life with Shard, who he just met, because he's a dragon in a human village that his mother just crashed into. And then, not only does he have to start growing up on the run, he also runs into dragon hunters, knights, and various other battles where he and his best friend risk their lives...all before he's even a year old.

I would love fanart of him: I mean, who wouldn't?! But I would be annoyingly particular about the way he looks, because my insistence that "no one does dragons right" extends to the way they look too ^^'

I would want to be his friend irl: Oh my gosh, SO VERY MUCH TT_____TT He's adorable, he's fun, he likes to laugh and play, he's very loving and likes to cuddle, and he would want to be your friend too the second he found out you were Shard's friend. Plus...I mean...he's a dragon. How cool is that?!

Made specifically for a relationship: Again, this is a dragon rider story, and you can't do that without a human and a dragon bonding. Shynael kind of came first in this duo, but he was always meant to be the little brother.

Vital to the plot: Shynael's appearance is literally the inciting incident of this story :P

Fan-favorite: I'd like to think he would be! I've had nothing but positive reactions to him from anyone I've shown the first draft to. He's adorable and fun, and my hope is that most people will instantly fall in love with him and want to protect him at all costs.

Could be the protagonist of his own story: The few vague thoughts I've had about a possible sequel would be at least a short story with Shynael as the POV character, where he tries to find out who his father is. It would be first-person, and would make people laugh a lot more than The Ambassadors, though because it's me, it would probably still dip into angst a lot as well. But I never actually came up with more than a vague idea of what it would be about. First things first, you know. Gotta write the first story before bothering about sequels.

I love him, Your Honor: I can't put into words how much I love this kid <3 I don't have a little brother, but...if I did, I'd want him to be like this :') He's also quite possibly the best character I've ever created. I just want him to grow and thrive and have only the best things in life, especially after everything I put him through. (Shynael: "That's okay. You gave me my Shard, and that's all I need! :D")

Practically writes himself: As evidenced in the previous question, whenever I write him - or even about him, apparently! - it's like he comes back to life and starts talking to me. The whole time I was writing the first draft, it was like I had a tiny version of him curled up in my brain, and throughout the day he'd give his commentary on various things - especially if they had to do with dragons in any way. I always like to say that Shynael is my "Harry Potter" - he fell, fully formed, into my lap as soon as I started writing him. I barely feel like I created him at all. He already existed somewhere, and I just wrote the story that opened the portal he could come through. Objectively, I can look at his first couple of scenes and realize that I fine-tuned his voice over time, and I also know that the whole reason I started writing the story was because I was tired of dragons who were only ever austere and wise or basically just animals. Shynael is exactly the sort of dragon I would write, because he's specifically pushing back against almost every dragon I've ever read about...but at the same time, Shynael is just himself. Put him in any situation, and I know what he would do or say, because it's barely even me writing him. He writes himself.

Very good-looking: Okay, Shynael, you can stop preening like a peacock XD But it's true! Another thing I decided right away was that my main dragon was going to be black. I was sick and tired of the way black dragons always seemed to be evil in the stories I read. Besides, have you ever run your finger over a bit of obsidian? That's what Shynael's scales look and feel like.

*holds gently*: He is baby. I am constantly torn between the authorial need to Put Him In Situations, and the maternal instinct of "If anyone hurts him, I will kill everyone in this room and then myself."

He gets so much page-time: Originally, he was literally there on page one. I think I need to back up a bit and give more of an introduction to Shard in my next draft before bringing him in, and there are a few scenes where Shard is alone, but for the most part, Shynael is there the whole time. My working title of the story, before I decided on The Ambassadors, was The Black Dragon, after all.

Free space: His catchphrase is "My mother told me..." In this world, dragon eggs only hatch when the circumstances are just right (and it can be hard to know what those circumstances are), and the baby dragon is able to hear and understand while they're inside the egg. It was a long time before Shynael hatched, so he has a lot of memories of things his mother talked to him about while she carried his egg around everywhere. So he has a jump-start on knowledge about the world, and he wants to experience everything his mother told him about first-hand.

[actually-eldritch]

A few have suggested to me that I expect people to be able to process a lot more than they do, to change a lot very quickly. This was a projection of insecurities but it wasn't completely untrue. I'd more accurately phrase it as,

"As hard as I've been working to conceive of the physical limitations of other people's brains, it's extremely difficult to figure out, especially as the details of it completely change individual to individual and subject to subject, and I remain consistently confused or surprised specifically by how much someone is capable of absorbing in a given moment, and how long it takes them to do so. Whilst I don't make particular expectations about how much and how fast someone can process, I also had no frame of reference, and when people are missing a bite of information they need in order to understand what I'm saying, i've found the ask of finding what the problem is is occasionally borderline impossible, as the problem may apparently be completely irrelevant."

This has been changing. I've been increasingly less surprised.

But I still lack the health to adjust my behaviour accordingly, tailouring it to each individual I speak to. That's a service people wanting to learn from me often seem to want but don't understand how expensive such a thing is to preform.

Still, I appreciate all the input I receive, and I always have improvements I can make with their criticism even if the over-all Ask they seem to lean towards is an impossibility. It's normal for people to not actually be able to fathom or imagine what they want or need. I digress.

I've made peace with the fact that it's normal for less than half of what I say to be understood, even if the person receiving it is convinced otherwise. It's extremely normal for people to look at what I said, see that they know each word individually, and recall that they've vaguely heard the something nearby the subject(s) I'm discussing, and believe that they are hearing everything I'm saying.

Past efforts to address and communicate that it's okay have been more consistently met with the genuine belief that they're not missing anything. Though, in another conversation, they would express the belief that they understand that it's impossible not to miss things. In the moment they often tailor their behaviour as if they don't miss anything.

I presume this is at least partially because they physically don't know how to actually account for such things. After all, it's not being taught, and the academics in power largely fail to understand the basic themselves.

This doesn't always impede their comprehension; sometimes over time people will absorb what I actually said when we're apart. It's not unusual for people to attribute this to completely unrelated circumstances and believe that the only person inciting these thoughtful journeys was themselves. As upsetting as this often is--this insistence that they understood everything when they obviously didn't, followed by them believing that the series of relevant epiphanies they had were completely unrelated to our conversations...it's subconscious.

It's a grievance I've had to largely let go of.

"They'll understand, remember, realise when they're older."

But sometimes they'll remember. And sometimes they'll even look for examples of what I've said, follow the new paths I've handed them the doors for.

And regardless, I still think it's worth speaking.

It was incredibly lonely to realise I was so incredibly beyond everyone I met, even those who seemed apparently close to me from a distance. I had to eventually realise that comprehension is a cooperative effort; I have to show and teach people how to understand me. And people can have their grandiose opinions about the morals of that all that they wish.

But it's how I've learned survival works for me.

In order to understand myself, I've had to learn to understand everything. And in my effort to understand everything, I have increasingly complicated, opened more doors of my mind that I've explored thoroughly which wound up adding more complexity to my being. It's an infinite path I walk. As I learn more about myself, more information to learn and figure out will develope.

At my core I know who I am. That is enough.

And as unfortunate as it is to have to help myself be understood, it's not entirely unusual--though the severity is--and self-pity never helped.

I choose to find the journey fun, and enlightening.

I learn about my friend, and teach them to know themselves too along the way; the infrastructure of our minds, the memories that make the gears of our brain that turn and produce the machinations of the being that we are, the beliefs which constitute our structures all monuments of pieces that make us.

Amorphous, and susceptible to change.

[callmearcturus]

I feel like people find you intimidating because you're confident and because you have firm boundaries and will quickly block people for crossing them or being assholes? All of those are good things, but communicating online is hard and there's a lot of room for misunderstandings. I've seen people being frightened of people who interact with randos and first-offense block assholes, not because they intend to say anything assholish, but because they're afraid of accidentally saying something that reads differently than they expected and never having a chance to apologize or continue to interact.

Also so many people who interact with a lot of randos are entirely terrified of the people following them and that's extremely unhealthy but it's so much the norm that someone who isn't afraid of the opinions of their followers can stand out as some kind of iron-willed badass. That may also contribute.

I mean. That tracks, all of that is accurate. I've been on the internet for a long time and my boundaries are extremely well fortified at this point. Tumblr and fandom broadly are a huge part of my life, so imo the safety rails are necessary. I do recall being younger and less aware of that necessity, and it was much less fun.

But also, I cannot overstate how people cannot control my blocking, lmao. I think the last person I blocked was on one of my How To Read Whomstve posts talking about Well Actually The Epilogues Where Good And yadda yadda i blocked them, because funnily enough I don't think we need to interact further. XD I don't think I'd like their content and they wouldn't like mine.

The idea of being an iron-willed badass is fun but also a little sad. People who make you uncomfortable in fandom have no right to access to you, and once you start ignoring or blocking the folks who incite that reaction, you will be demonstrably happier.

All of these are not easy lessons. I had to go through a lot of fucking vicious harassment before I learned. Hell, the harassment I got from sw/amp wi/zard and their cronies last go-around shoved me back in the fucking closet. That ain't no joke and it sucked. So, we learn from that shit, hopefully. I just hope everyone else out there gets to learn it without the vaguely traumatic harassment campaigns. That'd be sweet.

One more thing: I know a lot of people feel more comfortable using anon to send messages. I leave it on for that reason. But I do want everyone to know that when you use anon, you are assuming the same greyface of every person who has sent me suicide baiting and threats and harassment. There is inherent baggage to hitting that 'anon' switch that you are opting into. I've said before that Anon Isn't. It isn't "anonymous," there is a collective identity to it. So I am more likely to nuke someone sending me a bad anon message.

On the flipside, when you sign the message and don't use anon, you both enable me to reply to you privately if that is more appropriate/comfortable to me, and you automatically get a cache of Good Faith that you absolutely do not get from being anon. I don't expect explaining this will cause ppl to collectively stop using anon, but I think it's important context to keep in mind.

[system-of-a-feather]

how can you tell the difference between co-front/co-con and a temporary(?) fusion? mostly just curious

-💥🎮

Hmm like a lot of dissociative experiences, its kind of hard to put into words, but one of the "flags" so to say that makes them distinct is often a sense of separation and occasionally addressing / it feeling more natural to talk about both parts involved in third person despite it "definitely being you".

Like I'll use the example of the recent one that incited some of this talk, but Lucille and I were in the car (ignore my symptomatic ass forgetting we aren't literally two different people in a car) we were sitting in the car with our fiance listening to an organ performance of Bach Tocatta and Fugue in D Minor and Fugue in G Minor and for those that don't know, Lucille is a part that is a mega pretentious classical music and somewhat music history nerd who really loves the piano; I'm a huge instrumental (leaning late romantic era, soundtrack music, and brass) nerd who really loves the organ

When we are co-front, which we were vaguely before we temporarily fused, there is a distinct feeling of "me and him", I'm right here and this is my line of thoughts and he is right there and there are his line of thoughts. We function and exist in parallel to eachother and my sense of self remains "here" and he is "there". I can clearly identify that this thought is obviously mine because of course it is, and I can hear he thought / comments as him because "hes right there". This is to the point where we actually have three way conversations with our fiance from time to time because we are both just here. Co-con is similar but just one part has the front and the other is "back there" rather than "right there sitting with me". This might be different for some since we actively and regularly co-front especially around our fiance, and Lucille and I are both some of the best connected parts in our system + also charted to fuse formally at some point when the time is right

However, when we opened our mouth to start a ramble / info dump on how Bach is absolutely amazing and rolling down on a ramble about Bach and Baroque music, we had to pause for a moment because as we started the ramble, we had lost track of who was speaking and whose opinion this was which was largely distinct from blurriness as whoever WAS speaking still felt like a whole and specific defined alter and there was very little of that confusing dissonant dissociative feel in compared to blurriness which often feels like a fog, feeling a bit lost / confused, and increased dissociation.

We took a second to pause and sort it out - since we like to keep track of that and were like "Well this is obviously coming from Lucille because no one else has this much knowledge on the history of Bach and Baroque music other than him plus I am talking in his dialect and partially his accent; but also >I< definitely am still speaking and Riku definitely doesn't disagree and... hmm, odd I guess I'm both right now" which is a result of the fact that I absolutely could not pull apart which was more prominent and both part's "wavelengths" melded together well and comfortably that whatever standard I was operating at was comfortably functioning as a single identity.

At that moment of time, we were neither just Lucille or Riku, but we were some weird state of "yes". It stuck around for the remainder or the point we wanted to make across and then like 10 minutes later before we ended up phasing back apart to Lucille and Riku respectively.

I'm not sure if that makes sense cause describing anything dissociative always is difficult with how much it feels kinda metaphysical but its really the lack of seperation between entities and often "Ah did I just talk about both parts in third person while talking about myself in first person huh, go figure - ANYWAYS About Bach..."

Hope that answered somewhat?

-Riku

[gluevah]

"Have you heard of the drama if you will happening in another community on a different social media website? This is vague because some people who like stuffed animals also belong to the other community." omg this is literally exactly the kind of semantically useless vaguepost anon i was complaining about a little while ago; there is zero information being offered here it's like the asker never learned the five Ws (who, what, when, where, why) that are necessary for actually useful communication. like, what kind of answer were they expecting??? you are not a psychic mindreader with perfect knowledge of everywhere on the internet the asker visits! other anon i say this out of compassion: if you talk like this in real life, it is only a matter of time until you drive away almost everyone who does not have the patience of saints necessary to unravel the byzantine cryptic nonsense that comes out of your mouth. clear, direct communication will save you and everyone around you a tremendous amounts of trouble gluevah, sorry, im just beyond frustrated and this persons asks have me so close to just unfollowing you because they are so infuriatingly (and apparently intentionally!) obtuse; its literally a step away from being a Mad Libs; if they didnt specify stuffed animals it straight up would be thewordfinder (DOT) com/wordlibs/story-915/

I was unsure whether or not to post this ask, because I don't want to be a conduit for hurt feelings, but I do agree the vagueness is getting a bit out of hand.

I literally cannot adequately answer asks if I don't know what the question is. And I get not wanting to bring drama to my blog, but by asking me "have you heard about a drama happening in this other place," that's literally what is being done. I've posted silly BaB drama here myself, I don't mind discussing the various goings-on of the internet with folks but in order to actually discuss anything, there has to be something to discuss! Avoiding hurt feelings is important, and I appreciate people not wanting to invite drama or harassment by asking me about other people's business. But if a situation is so likely to cause people to angrily flock to my inbox just from it being mentioned, to the point where any bit of information is stripped from the message, maybe it's better not to bring it up at all just to be safe? (Also if people do come in my inbox being rude I can just block them lol. And I am literally a nobody so I don't think I'm on anyone's radar enough that discussing a situation from reddit would incite the hordes.)

I've been putting up with the intentional vagueposting because I appreciate people trying to look out for me and not wanting me to be harassed. But it really has gotten to the point where it's frustrating me, and seeing someone else also be frustrated has made me realize that it's okay to not put up with things just to be nice?

So I'm not answering any more intentionally vague asks. If I can't tell what's being asked, I won't answer. If it's an established inside thing, like "our favorite redditor" or something else that I can actually recognize without specifics being mentioned, that's fine. But no more "did you hear about the thing in the place with the thing?"

[violence-as-a-love-language]

I hate every time any major event happens on this site, because it always goes the same way. Event happens that upset people. People post proof of the upsetting event. Several other posts vague about the event with varying degrees of accuracy and memes and jokes start pouring in, also with various degrees of accuracy. A game of telephone starts to happen where people explain the situation without referencing the original post/article/video/whatever where it happened, leading to people forming their own idea of what happened and getting more reactionary posts from people who think they know what happened but only have second hand information.

I don't wanna talk about the current event here (aka staff deleting a blog) but I am a bit frustrated to see so many reactionary posts on my dash from various people, with only some having the full information while many, many others continue to dilute it into something much bigger and more horrible than it is.

And I personally don't think I know enough about what happened with this event to have an opinion on it, only that people seem to be confusing the act of someone 'making correlations with someone liking harry potter to encouraging terfs' to 'someone saying a staff member liked harry potter and that's why they got banned.' Watering down the information to a point where it becomes nonsensical does not help anything, especially for those who've not seen any of the original content! It only serves to continue the game of telephone and spread misinformation.

okay rant over. Just... I know people want to support whatever side they think is right when these major things happen, but I wish more time was taken to understand the inciting incident before people made and reblogged reactionary posts with misinformation and accusations that may or may not even be true.

[rain-coat-killer]

I'm just gonna talk about my personal operator, Ashley for a post. Just so I have these details in one space. Might add to it or just make a seperate post if I remember/come up with other stuff.

Warning: this is long.

But, like, not in a angry way.

If I could sum up her personality in a phrase it would be 'emotional constipation'.

Girl just has a blank look or vaguely sad/tired expression on her face most times.

She basically has the expression of someone who's lost on her face. Like when you're wandering around someone else's home or a mall/store and you don't know where anything is. You're just kinda looking around like 'uuuuuuh'. That.

Ashley ain't really that bright either. She doesn't pay attention to things often. So she doesn't really know precisely why the tenno are doing the things they do or why the corpus/grineer/infested/sentients/etc are doing anything.

She probably could keep up with everything if she really wanted to...But she doesn't want to :I

She gets frustrated easily if things are remotely complicated. If she can't put it in a box, she doesn't want it. Get it away. Its giving her a headache. Ordis, where is the space ibuprofen.

She's a follower, not a leader. And the type of follower that the leader will sometimes look back and shes wandered off so they have to backtrack and find whatever alien tree she climbed.

Its just full of

"no go that way"

"I said that way"

"Ashley"

"Ashley, where'd you go"

"Where in the void-"

"OH THERE YOU ARE"

"What are you even DOING"

"What do you have in your mouth"

"No sPIT THAT OUT IT ISNT EDIBLE-"

Its like babysitting essentially.

And the reason she's like this is void crap. Its all Wally's fault, really. He zapped her head too many times and now shes all weird and unusual.

Which thats goes into another thing. Ashley got more memory loss than most. Like it became a sort of 'coping' method for her. Whenever something happened that made her really upset she'd just lock it away.

Sort of a unintended side effect of Margulis's treatment. Ashley liked not remembering stuff so much she started just doing that whenever she didn't want to deal with the situation.

The man in the wall has a sort of more prominent role in Ashley's life. He checks in on her more and actually was the one who gave her her first case of amnesia.

Ashley got away from the rest of the tenno after the initial void power gift. Ended up killing a group of people, including her parents.

Ashley upon realizing this, curled up on the ground inbetween the lying bodies of her parents and just sat there. The man in the wall showed up eventually, attempted to incite her to get moving as a herd of adults were heading her way.

Ashley was in a state of seemingly permanent dissociation. A small loud part of herself wanted to die for what she did, so she just sat there.

Wally, wanting to eventually use her for his later plans decided to fix the problem by poking her in the forehead. This flooded Ashley with even more void juice tm, and her hair and eyes turned completely white. (They were brown initially) She entirely forgot her parents. So when Wally suggested her to get moving again, she did.

Ashley also actually knew Ballas after the whole zariman thing. Since Ashley had gotten blinded and was a little more disturbed/odd than most, Margulis dotted on her specifically. Margulis would hold her hand and guide her whenever she walked or just pick her up and carry her. Ashley was very light and I imagine Margulis as being surprisingly strong for some reason.

(After Margulis's blinding their time together increased tremendously. They bonded over their blindness. Sometimes to get Ashley to laugh, Margulis would hold her hand again and walk herself directly into a wall or a doorway with a loud 'oof'. For both their noses sakes they would just sit or lay down most of the time together and chat.)

Thus she started intruding upon Ballas and Margulis's alone time together. Ballas was miffed about it-needless to say, but he found out quickly he couldn't be a jerk to Ashley upfront and especially infront of Margulis.

Ashley had a habit of just spilling things. So Ballas would say something mean to Ashley while Margulis was briefly away. Margulis would come back and ask 'what were they up to while she was gone' and Ashley would immediately repeat what Ballas said to her.

Not in a 'IM TELLING MOM' way. Like she just tells Margulis because Margulis asked what they did.

So she tells Margulis literally everything because thats what she asked. Girl was just stating facts. So, cue Margulis looking at Ballas with the intensity of all nine circles of hell.

After Margulis's death, Ballas and Ashley ended up running into eachother again. Ashley was a little difficult assigning a warframe to.

Ballas first half jokingly on his part, tried to match her up with umbra. That didn't go too well, resulting in Umbra being locked up and staying locked up.

(Tidbit: Umbra also had met Ashley already. I headcanon him being one of the dax that went aboard the zariman and searched it. He ended up finding Ashley and then later Rell and shepherded them out.

Umbra sort of recognized Ashley during their first encounter operator/warframe. But then he turned around and tried to charge at Ballas, getting him 'shut off'.)

Anyhoo. This started a segment where Ballas kinda just (literally at times) drags Ashley around. Trying to find a warframe that's compatiable with her. While this is happening they sort of weirdly bond.

Their relationship with eachother ends after Ballas has her eyes fixed. He realized quite abruptly that he is getting attached so in a panic/rage he assigns ordis to Ashley and promptly exits the nearest door.

This causes Ashley to not remember Ballas at all. Since upon realizing she's been abandoned, pulls the ol' memory femory. Ordis is concerned after since he kinda watches her skip to the final stage of grief in like three seconds.

After this Ballas, at one point sends a anonymous gift, being Ashley's wing ear decorations. Since she liked birds. Sort of a strange apology/remembrance thing for him, similar to how the Lotus is designed after yknow, the flower. Cause Margulis liked the lotus flower.

Finally here's the story of how Ashley got her sick ass scars:

Ashley's blindness was caused by Rell. Accidentally. Its all Wally's fault, again. He was leading Ashley up a bunch of rubble and taunting Rell around the corner at the same time. Rell fired a void beam at Wally and it hit Ashley right in the face as soon as she climbed to the top of the rubble pile.

Rell panicked and ended up dragging her unconcious body into the vents. He tried to take care of her and did for the most part until the orokin found the zarimen and rescued them all.

Ashley wasnt exactly blinded entirely by the void beam. It knocked her vision out for a while but then via void healing it started to come back. Except she was super sensitive to light. Extremely. To the point of screaming in agony.

So Rell tried to keep her in dark places where she wouldn't be found as he went around and found supplies.

This connects to what I wrote earlier where the dax came onboard and reacued the children.

Umbra who was a dax soldier at the time found Ashley, who Rell left in a dark classroom. She started screeching in pain and holding her hands up in attack mode. Umbra was able to calm her down by doing that hands up in 'i mean you no harm' gesture and talking calmly to her.

He ripped off a piece of his uniform and tied it around her eyes and thats where her blindfold came from :T

(Oh yeah and some extra angst.)

When Umbra reunited with Ashley the first time. When Ballas tried to get her to transfer into him, Umbra went haywire and attacked her. Then she ended up doing a similar stance to when he first found her on the zariman.

He had a 'wait i remember this' moment and slowly held his hands up in that 'i mean you no harm' way. Then he saw his own hands and gripped his head in pain, turned around and saw Ballas and went for it. Ballas shut him down and had him sealed away.

So yeah 👏👏 thats all I can remember at the moment. If you read all the way to here, thank you so much! I hope you have a good day/night 👋